Sam took a deep breath and then turned toward the door. His hand felt numb, like it wore a welding glove— bulky, lacking coordination as he turned and pushed.

For being an ordinary door, it was unusually heavy. Sam had to dig his heels in more than he’d expected. Probably hasn’t been opened in a while, he thought as it scraped against what sounded like overgrown earth and not a floor as he’d imagined. The hinges groaned open.

Didn’t expect this, he thought.

He had expected a room. Maybe a room with secret files or weapons? Or maybe hidden treasure? He’d even entertained the idea of finding Satan himself—not that he wanted to, but the thought had occurred to him.

But it wasn’t even a room at all. It was an entrance to another world, like a portal in a sci-fi book. They were clearly leaving Earth as he knew it. The terrain filled his eyes with remnants of a bad fairy tale set in a swamp.

Spilling out of the unknown, an abundant fog lingered in the doorway, taunting Sam. With Tallulah close behind, he stepped through, his feet partially submerged into soft ground.

The fog consumed a sparse grove of ancient cypress trees protruding like abandoned Greek columns out of the shallow, murky water. Although it was daytime in this place, the canopy cover of the trees blocked the light almost completely. Vines hung like last year’s decorations. The air was earthy and stale. Sam detected a slight hint of sulfur.

There was no doubt in his mind. They were not alone. Thousands of living creatures, hidden among the shrubs, trees, and fog, trumpeted their songs: a full chorus of frogs, birds, reptiles and insects—more insects than Sam wanted to think about.

“So much for these boots,” Tallulah griped, looking down at her formerly white uniform boots, now five-inches deep in mud.

They trudged across the pasty ground while it smacked back at their feet.

Sam, being first to reach a black willow tree, grabbed its trunk for stability. He turned to watch Tallulah, several yards behind him, struggle with each step, her arms flailing in large circles as she attempted to stay upright in the mud.

Less than a whisper brushed against Sam’s ear. It was a thought so faint he wasn’t sure if he’d heard it audibly, or if he’d thought it himself. “She’s beautiful.”

The sound lingered as Sam stood frozen, considering what it meant. It wasn’t a lie. She was beautiful. Her smile and flowing hair were like a poem that you’d read again and again or a song you’d play endlessly. He could have thought it. He tried to convince himself that thinking it, if he actually did, didn’t mean he loved Hayley less. But if his mind hadn’t been the origin of the thought, they must have company.

A sudden, loud popping sound drew his attention toward Tallulah. The mud had opened and devoured her legs. She was now up to her waist in the mud and sinking fast.

She screamed and dug her hands into the surrounding area, grabbing nothing but handfuls of soggy earth. She extended her arm in an attempt to recruit a greenbrier vine from a tangled collection. The mossy ropes responded to her telekinesis gift immediately by moving toward her outreached hand, but they remained in a tangled mess. As they pulled toward her, they only created more of a rat’s nest.

Sam fought the urge to jump in to free her. He knew if he did, they’d both need rescuing. He could help her better from more stable ground.

Painfully close, the tangled vine mocked her outreached hand still yards away. The attempt seemed futile until Sam drew his sword and sliced a strategic vine allowing the gnarled mess to unravel and stretch far enough for Tallulah to grab.

Pulling with all her strength, her hands only slid down the vine, stripping it of piggyback moss and soupy earth, exposing the rubbery plant beneath, her precarious position unchanged. A hand-over-hand approach produced the same slippery results as she sunk deeper into the sludge until she wrapped the vine around her hand several times finally stopping the downward momentum.

The mud seemed to be more than a natural element, but rather a living entity. It wanted Tallulah and it was fighting hard against their efforts to free her. Either it was alive or something living controlled it.

***

So… get the book to find out what happens next!!!! : )

http://www.amazon.com/Knights-Angel-Realm-Guarding-ebook/dp/B004X1XCDE

Almost done…

Great Expectations for Great Characters

Have you ever named fish after your characters? Added them to your ‘contacts’ on your phone (the characters, not the fish, ha ha.) Are they your friends or enemies? What if you met them in a dark alley? Or what one question would you ask your character? Do they have a Facebook page? Do they Tweet?

Believe me, you can go really overboard with this thought process: delving into the mind of your character until they become actual people to you, but usually characters (many of mine) suffer from being too flat. I’m preaching to myself when I say, Hey, if you’re gonna do this writing thing, don’t waste time on flat characters. Give them life. Make them real.

What are their quirks or habits? What makes them different from others? ‘Interview’ your character until you find out everything you can about them. At this point, you are ready to start writing their story. Just like how an investigative reporter researches the facts before sending the story to print, it pays to investigate and research your character.

Have you sketched your character or found their photos in magazines or catalogs? You may find you need to describe them more fully. I’ve even heard of writers creating collages that represent their books to inspire them. A picture tells a thousand words, right?

Some friends and I participate in a long-established writers contest every Labor Day (for the last three years anyway.) It’s called The 3-Day Novel Contest— a brutal exercise where you pack as much writing as you can into only three days. It’s incredibly fun, but horribly excruciating as you can imagine. But at the end you have a complete novel. Of course, the average length in three days is only about 20,000 words, so it will need expanding, but the story is there. No, I haven’t won…yet (ha ha), but I highly recommend the experience. It’s especially fun because our friends invite us to stay with them, so we can suffer together and take breaks, whining and asking ourselves “Why do we do this?”

I told you about this gruelling opportunity to tell you this: The rules of the contest say you can’t write even a word of the book before 12:00 am on the first day, but you can outline, sketch, research, etc as much as you’d like. If you enter the contest knowing your character inside and out, then you will produce more words because you won’t have to stop and figure things out as you go. It really forces me to create the character before I type a single word.

Whether your characters are saints or villains, have great expectations for them!

Deb’s bat-clumsy approach tilted and squirmed until she touched-down on the limb, a hundred feet up. Her fingernails clawed into the trunk’s crevices as she slowed her momentum and managed to stop. Deep gasps of air burned her throat as she embraced the cinnamon colored, craggy wood.

The relief of the landing was quickly replaced by the awkward realization that she was now stuck in a tree. This branch was the lowest, but still too high to jump down from.

The only sounds were her own labored breaths and the heavy drumming of her heart. She couldn’t hang on here forever. The night was not warm by any means, but Deb could feel her skin’s radiant moist heat as it caught the chill in the air— truly a cold sweat. The scratchy wood’s slight scent of vanilla mocked her.

Deb’s feet were longer than the branch was wide, so her toes hung over. Shifting her weight, she felt the branch flex. She froze. She had to force herself to think and breathe. A frigid wind howled passed her. A cracking sound scratched at her ears as the branch abandoned her feet. The ground was her new destination.

Okay Writers, time for number three…that all important CONFLICT!

Without conflict there would be no story, right? That’s a ‘no brainer’, but time and time again, writers in our critique group— myself especially— have been seriously lacking in the conflict department. “Amp it up!” they tell me weekly.

One of my children was afraid of the Sea Witch in The Little Mermaid. I told her, “Without the Sea Witch, there would be no story; nothing for Ariel to do.” She thought about it and then said she’d just cover her eyes.

As much as we love the well-thought-out, descriptive passages we forge as we build our worlds, what keeps the reader engaged is the conflict. In fact, I have a friend that professes to (on a regular basis) skip passages of narrative to get to the action and dialogue…where the conflict usually occurs.

We live in a fast-paced world. The action has to keep up with the average mindset. Gone are the days of Dickens, Hemingway, and Tolstoy. Most novels of today open with a car chase and don’t let you breathe until the end.

Why do we love conflict? Sheesh! Don’t our lives have enough already? Why do people choose to entertain themselves with more problems to solve? The only answer I could find for that was…maybe solving the problems in a book or movie gives them closure, resolution, and hope their problems will also be resolved. It’s like playing seven notes of a scale. Musicians go insane if you don’t play the last note. It resolves everything. It just feels good to finish it.

One way to amp up conflict in your story is to think ‘opposites’. If you drastically contrast everything, the dialogue and plot will nearly write themselves. They will naturally scream opposition to one another.

For example: If your main character is environmentally conscientious to a fault, then you could offset their ‘green’ passion with a character who doesn’t recycle, drives an old gas-hog, and uses paper plates at every meal.

When I have a strong thread of conflict, I try to follow it through to the end. Perhaps I would have the gas-hog owner drive-up in a Prius. Or the ‘green’ character could use their paper towels only once before throwing them away. This could show how the opposing character has smoothed out their hard edges a bit; had an influence on their choices.

The biggest advice I’ve ever read or heard about conflict is… just when you think it can’t get any worse for the character…make it worse. Create situations they could not possibly get out of, amp it up even more, and then watch them find their way out.

If you want to try outlandish scenarios without too much of a commitment of length or word count, try using writing prompts. Give yourself a time limit and slather on the conflict as thick as you can. It’s even more fun when you do this in a group. We’ve had some wild characters struggle through outrageous predicaments.

In the end, don’t shy away from conflict like most do in real life. In your writing, embrace it, welcome it, and amp it up!

Setting the Table for a Great Setting

Paper plates or fine china? Your characters could eat straight out of Chinese to-go boxes with chop sticks. Or how about picnic style? Maybe they dine on brightly colored Mexican pottery and a bold-striped tablecloth to match. A great ‘table setting‘ can say a lot about your characters. If they insist on washing and reusing plastic-ware, it could imply they are thrifty, concerned with the environment, or just plain crazy! LOL Whatever you choose, make it distinct; think outside the box.

And as they taught us in English classes, setting covers so much more than just where your characters will eat their meals. It creates the mood, establishes the culture and class, and tells the reader when and where the characters live.

Mood

Whether your story’s tone is ominously eerie, is a fast-paced thriller or is a lively comedy, the mood is set by all of the areas discussed in the next few paragraphs. These factors affect dialogue, action, and narrative passages. For instance, if your story is set in a graveyard, it would most likely not be humorous. The time would also reflect the mood…it might be midnight or during a funeral.

Is the story set in a place that’s OCD-clean or pig-sty dirty? Clutter can reflect a chaotic mood. A sterile environment suggests someone who’s uptight possibly or has a medical condition.

How about the lighting? Natural, filtered sunlight? Pitch blackness? Moonlight? Candlelight? Desert sun? Florescent bulbs? Flashing neon? You can do a lot to set the mood with lighting. A good way to observe how lighting is used in movies is to watch without sound.

And speaking of sound…what music will be ‘heard’ in your story? A Sousa march? A love ballad? Totally different moods.

And here’s the biggie that I usually have to remind myself to include: set the mood through the sense of smell. Aromas are powerful— the good and the bad. They trigger deep and sometimes subliminal memories. Just think of how you feel when I say: dirty diaper, hot cinnamon buns, coffee, cat box, blood, diesel, pine, mint, garlic, urine, baked bread…

Culture

Consider spicing up your story by including different cultures. Mixing and contrasting cultures can add conflict while making it interesting. This is demonstrated in a children’s favorite The City Mouse and The Country Mouse. There’s lots of conflict as each mouse finds the other’s culture is difficult and even life-threatening. How about the clash between the human and vampire cultures in Twilight and the bazillion other ‘vamp’ or paranormal romance books and movies out there? The sky’s the limit with cultures to jazz up your story. Just remember to keep your details consistent without being stereotypical.

Class

Whether your characters are wealthy or penniless, both can be interesting. Again, pit one against the other for added conflict. A fanciful setting can be just as memorable as a poor one if you dig in and really show how they live— good or bad. The hardest class to make interesting is the wide and well-known middle class. But even in this class, you can find quirky details that set your characters apart from Joe-average. Your readers probably live in the Joe-average world, so they know what that’s about already. Give them something new to read in a way they can still connect on an emotional level. Maybe your main character has painted his house neon orange because he’s fighting with the neighbors. Just an average white-collar guy…with an orange house. No matter what class you’re dealing with, make it pop.

Time

This is the fun one. When will you set your story? In prohibition time? During war? A Medieval story? When Christ was born? Future? Past? Pick an interesting time in history, do tons of research, and immerse your story in it. But I say this with a word of caution. You will find many, many more details about the time period than you need to include. Pick a few key ones to highlight the era, and let the reader’s imagination take it from there. If your readers want ‘history’, they’ll pick up a history book. Just flavor your story with the facts you find.

Location

Can’t think of a good location? Check out travel magazines or National Geographics. You can also harvest locations from your personal address book or Facebook friends list. Once you’ve chosen a place on the map, go there physically if possible if you haven’t already. If you’re unable to go there, ‘Google’ the spot to see images of it and take a virtual tour if one is available.

Of course other dimensions, science fiction, fantasy worlds, utopia, heaven, and hell always make for exciting locations, but these require more world-creating…and travelling there may prove difficult.

Whether your characters are dining at The White House or inside a dumpster, make it a memorable ‘table setting‘.

Hi!

Just had to share…

For many years now I have dreamed of seeing a book that I wrote actually on a shelf in a book store. And now that’s a reality! There are many wonderful people that have helped make that come true… thank you so much! And thank you, Lord, for carving the path. I hope it glorifies you.

Knights of the Angel Realm: Guarding Carthage

It was December, but all was not merry.

Kicking a pine cone along the cracked, paved street, Sam approached the church on his route home from school. Under a bare maple tree, on the bench just outside the chapel, a newspaper fluttered in the breeze, beaconing Sam to catch up on current events before working at the market.

Abandoning the pine cone, and taking a seat next to the paper on the bench, he scanned the headlines: CRIME AT AN ALL TIME HIGH… UNUSUAL DISTURBANCES… CHURCHES CLOSING THEIR DOORS… BIZZARE WEATHER…

Sam was not surprised by any of these headlines. Three months of demon slashing had brought the town of Carthage no closer to ridding itself of Satan’s counterparts.

Feeling frustrated, he quickly moved on to his favorite section: Sports. He was stunned by what he read: NORTHERN TEAM DISQUALIFIED; CARTHAGE WILL GO TO STATE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.

He couldn’t believe what he was reading. Excitement washed over him as he realized his team was headed for the game of a lifetime. Unable to utter a word, his mouth ajar, he barely drew breath as the exhilaration surged through his veins. But just as suddenly as it arrived, the joy was replaced with familiar bitterness as he realized what could have been. He clamped his mouth shut tight, and fought back tears of regret for all he’d given up.

I would’ve been quarterback in this game.

His stomach ached. His head felt light, and there were so many negative thoughts rushing through his mind, he almost didn’t hear the voice.

“Quitter,” it whispered.

As he shifted his focus from the paper toward the sound, a forceful gust of wind pushed against him, and he watched the pine cone suddenly roll ten feet and into a ditch.

“Quitter,” the voice rang again through winds that turned on like a busted fire hydrant. This time he heard it clearly.

He turned his head toward the eerie voice as he fished for his ring in his pocket. Slipping it on just in time to see the sanctuary doors fly open, he saw Pastor Tom kneeling before the cross, weeping. He wondered if the pastor could sense their presence, but Sam’s attention was drawn to something even more disturbing.

Standing outside, shoulder-to-shoulder, the same red-robed demons that lined the hallway at city hall, surrounded the church, their robes whipping in the turbulent winds.

Like a ravenous wolf pack, dozens of demons paced aimlessly on the sparse grass outside the chapel. Some crawled among the branches of a magnolia tree that shaded the area.

It’s worse than ever, he thought as he turned to face the demon sitting like and resembling a wolf ten feet away.

“You should be quarterback in that game, not Nick.” It sputtered the suggestion with a deep growl.

The words were a tornado of bitterness in his heart. He stood and aimed his shield at its face, screaming at it, as if the mere intensity of his voice could erase all of his regret. But shock flooded his body when, instead of succumbing to the abyss, the demon, seemingly unaffected, grabbed the shield, tossing it like a Frisbee fifty yards away with a flick of its leathery wrist, never moving his eyes from Sam. The beast smirked as Sam heard its thoughts.

“Pitiful toy.”

Sam turned his panic into action, drawing his sword; but before he could use it, the demon easily pried it from his hands, and laughed a bone-chilling laugh. Vulnerable and mortified, Sam leaned back in fear as it opened its fang-filled mouth, biting the sword in half, the pieces clanking to the ground like thrift store silverware. A rush of air gasped involuntarily through Sam’s mouth as he stared at the broken sword, realizing his defenceless position. A few of the sapphires had fallen out of the handle, and the fiery opal was now black.

Edging his way backward, he wanted to run, but his legs felt stiff and numb. Shooting glances left and right, he looked for help as he eased back, slowly realizing there was no escape.

The creature pushed Sam to the ground, and everything spun as the hard earth met his head. The pain radiated like a strike to a church bell. The ache overpowered all his senses. Even his sight faded briefly, but returned as tiny pin pricks of sparkling light, falling like rain.

He managed to look down towards his aching chest. Pinning him like prey, the demon’s claws pierced his skin in several spots, blood now soaking his uniform. He could smell its steamy breath on his face—like putrid, toxic gas.

Sam waited for the worst.

# 5 – Write a Gourmet Story

Have you ever been stuck having to eat a bland diet? Yawn.

Readers crave flavor!

Just like marinading a steak or adding cinnamon to coffee, stories should be rich and scrumptious. Here are a few ways to make your story a delectable feast for your readers:

Catch Phrases

A good example of a catch phrase comes from Star Wars (Episode 4,5 & 6) when Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, and Princess Leia take turns repeating the famous line “I have a bad feeling about this.” It’s used just enough to be funny and endearing. And because different characters say it with the same emphasis on ‘bad’, it becomes almost an inside joke between the actors and the audience.

Catch phrases should be chosen very carefully and used sparingly or they will just be annoying or cheesy. Done correctly though, they can add interest to the story and pull the reader in.

Twists

Make sure you surprise the reader. Maybe even more than once. I can picture them reading like crazy with their eyes bulging out because they never expected a particular turn of events. And don’t save all the twists for the end. Sprinkle little ones throughout the story. If you have trouble thinking of twists, ask “what if.”

For example: “What if a main character’s dad didn’t really die? Was only presumed dead? Maybe they never found the body? Of course when the dad returns, it has to be believable, so provide a way to reassure the reader that you didn’t break rules of physics or ‘pull a rabbit out of a hat’.

Another easy way to create twists is to work backwards from ‘the reveal’ to any hints or clues leading to the twist.

The Power of Music

When at all possible include music in your story. Music evokes memories and feelings.

Perhaps your characters attend a rock concert or an opera. These two very different venues illustrate their tastes in music and helps to define them.

How tech-savvy are your characters? Do they have an iPod, an MP3 player, a transistor radio, a record player? How about an 8-track tape player? LOL! Do they download tunes, listen to Sirius Radio, or do they even illegally pirate songs for free? You can see how these details could help paint who your characters are.

What music is playing in the background? In the movie Twilight, Bella turns-on Edward’s stereo to see what he listens to. She is getting to know him and seems impressed that a vampire would be listening to “Clair de Lune.”

How about having your characters play an instrument, or even just whistle or hum a particular tune. In the movie Lady in White, (spoiler alert) the killer is discovered because of the song he whistles. To this day the song still gives me the chills! The choice of song tells a lot about them as does their instrument—whether it be a cello or just putting their lips together!

Tickle the Senses

Every scene should be a smörgåsbord for the senses. What do the characters see, hear, taste, smell and feel? The more unusual the better! In the movie Parent Trap, the twins (both played by a young—and more innocent—Lindsay Lohan) connect because they discover they both prefer to eat their Oreos with peanut butter. The audience imagines what that would taste like and then ‘connects’ with the characters.

The feelings the senses evoke don’t always have to be good. Readers will connect with ‘the good, the bad, and the ugly.’ In the movie Nanny McPhee, the children trick someone into eating ‘wormy sandwiches’. Every time I watch this with my kids, I squirm more than the worms do because it’s so disgusting.

Overall…

Your story should aim to make the reader react mentally and physically. They should laugh, cry, wish, hope, hurt, cringe, shiver, ache, smile, remember and/or be shocked, etc. Take a hard look at your story. Does it have the ingredients to make it gourmet?

CONFESSIONS OF A LAZY WORD-MISER & THAT-A-HOLIC

Yes, I confess. I used to have a real THAT problem. In my early writing days I used THAT whether I needed it to convey meaning or not. After I had a consultation with a professional editor at a writing conference, I realized I used THAT unnecessarily. I felt sort of foolish. Why hadn’t I seen it before? But then I started listening to how people talk. THAT is sort of a filler used in verbal conversation. So it is only natural to use it in writing as well. Being able to recognize when not to use it is the key. And it’s fairly easy too.

Here’s an example:

Painting the house that his father built gave Arnold the feeling that his father was right beside him.

Can you see the two unnecessary THATs?

Here it is without the THATs:

Painting the house his father built gave Arnold the feeling he was right beside him.

The idea here is if you can leave out the THATs and it doesn’t change the meaning you’re trying to convey, then leave it out. Simple.

Here’s an example of a time you’d want to keep the THAT in the sentence:

The trophy was awarded to the team that ran the fastest.

If you remove the THAT, it would not correctly begin the phrase describing the team. The sentence even sounds incomplete without the THAT.

But why did I call myself a LAZY WORD-MISER?

I relied heavily on adjectives and adverbs instead of strong verbs and the occasional mind-tickling adjective. Instead of letting the reader explore the feelings of the words, I tried to control and force their way of thinking by supplying everything for them. I had to learn to use the power of strong verbs and craftily selected adjectives to communicate the story.

And although I’m giving this advice, I’m still a work-in-progress. If you were to look at my first drafts, you would still find boatloads of THATs, weak adjectives, adverbs, and especially the boring word WAS.

WAS is inevitable. You will use it, but try not to. Don’t be lazy with your ability to use better verbs. If alternate choices for WAS don’t come to you easily, then think of action words. What are your characters doing? If they were in a movie, what would the director tell them to do? How would they move?

Here’s an example of how to improve a sentence by the use of verbs:

1. He was looking at her. (Needs improvement.)

2. He looked at her. (Better.)

3. Her beauty mesmerized him. (An option.)

4. He ogled her. (Wow. Just 3 little words mean so much!)

I’m constantly on the hunt for better words, fine tuning each sentence as if it’s the one that will go on the back cover. My well-loved, taped-together dictionary and thesaurus can attest to that. They usually accompany me when writing. Whether you have a hard copy or consult these books online, make sure you don’t fall into the category of being a lazy writer. Your reader’s time is valuable. Don’t waste it on WAS, THAT, and weak writing.

HAPPY WRITING!